Flex your question marks.

In my time working simultaneously with elementary students and adult learners, I have collected countless hours of informal, observational data.

One thing I have noticed over time is the dialogue shared by children in the primary classrooms is more frequently peppered with question marks than the conversations I share with older students and even less than the ones I share with adults. Why is that?

At some point, the bight-eyed inquisitive nature fades—is it eroded by embarrassment or shame for not knowing or understanding? Do we somehow subconsciously condition kids to ask fewer questions over time?

A clear example of watching curiosity phase out is working with adolescents. Students appear to become embarrassed by raising their hands or their apathy towards digging deeply into a topic outweighs the joy they could have for the discovery of new-found learning.

Asking the right question can unlock a new idea—solve a pervasive problem or even bring a new invention to life. As important as asking questions appears to be, they are not always welcomed at discussion tables. The chairs at those said tables get filled with egos, hidden agendas or even worse—closed minds.

This is one of my burning curiosities. How can we make more space in our conversations for the question marks we so eagerly used when we were children? In what ways could asking more questions benefit us? Our work? Our relationships?

What are your thoughts?

For further reading:

Embarrassment by Thomas Newkirk

The Advice Trap: Be Humble, Stay Curious & Change the Way You Lead Forever by Michael Bungay Stanier